MAN BUY! - Man test
MAN BUY! - Man test
Are you manly enough to use MAN BUY?
Then take our MAN BUY test and find out!
Only the mostly manly of men are allowed entry into MAN BUY* (see disclaimer). As you answer the questions your machismo level will be detected by our specially created “Chuck Norris-o-meter” (patent pending). A world leader in machismo monitoring equipment. If the red lights are lit all the way up to the top then you can rest assured that you are as manly as Chuck Norris! If our Chuck Norris detects that you are not manly enough then it will instead direct to you to an alternative to MAN BUY. Don’t worry though we know real men don’t give up so you are welcome to have as many goes as you like.
To take our MAN BUY test simply select A, B, or C to answer question 1.
Answer question 2.
Answer question 3.
If you don’t get through on your first attempt, it probably wasn’t your fault, you probably got distracted whilst taking the test. maybe some Russian bad guys burst through your windows, or a bear attacked your car. No problem. Just defeat those bad guys, chase off the bear and try again!
WARNING! In testing some men were so manly in their answers that they actually had so much manliness they broke the “Chuck Norris-o-meter”! Rest assured that the “Chuck Norris-o-meter” is so tough that even if it does break, it soon fixes itself!
The “Chuck Norris-o-meter”
(Patent pending)
The “Chuck Norris-o-meter” is a world leader in machismo testing technology. Built in space entirely out of the tusks of mammoths, and shark teeth, this revolutionary piece of engineering can detect levels of manliness through an ordinary smartphone screen or pc monitor!
SAFETY FIRST!
Before beginning you MAN BUY test we recommend the following.
Before beginning ensure that you are safe to do so. The MAN BUY test will test your manliness to it’s absolute limits, so if you’re currently dangling from a rope from the bottom of a helicopter gunship, leaping from carriage to carriage on a moving train, or, wrestling a giant octopus, it is safer to start the test after completing your current mission.
You can answer A, B, or C, to each question. On a phone simply tap the screen with your finger, on a pc or Mac we recommend using the mouse to do this. Do not try to select your option by firing live rounds at your phone or monitor!
Please note that the “Chuck Norris-o-meter” (pat pending) takes into account many things to calculate your manliness. Early testing shows that you can increase your score if whilst taking the test you; wear a Stetson hat or chaps, play Johnny Cash in the background, or, complete your test inside the cab of a large truck, or, any piece of earth moving equipment.
Test time!
Click (don’t shoot) the button below when you are ready to begin the test. Good luck!
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
*Please note whilst women are welcome to use MAN BUY, unless you really hate shopping this probably isn't for you.
This is the digital equivalent of an old shed, filled with jam jars full of screws, odd looking rusty tools, maybe a calendar showing December 2019, maybe a Corgi model car or old Hornby train set.
The floor has probably never been cleaned. It might not even have a floor, it might just be honest soil trampled like concrete by the long hard toil of working men.
Hidden amongst all this paraphernalia will somewhere be pictures of our heroes, man heroes!
Forget fancy suits, rippling muscles, or, glamorous surroundings! Those guys aren't heroes! Not man heroes!
Man heroes have names like Geoff or Bill, and forget flashy cars or fancy haircuts, these guys hold real wealth; a 50lb carp, a 1963 Hornby Bournemouth Belle model train still boxed, or, a toolbox filled with nothing but 10mm spanners.
Its a strange world ladies.
Enter at thy peril!
ALSO THIS:
The name MAN BUY, and implied restriction on male only usage is an artificial restriction intended solely for comedic effect.
Whilst at first glance it may appear to represent patriarchal sexist views, it is in fact a satirical comment on perceived sexual stereotypes.
One would hope that this would be obvious to anyone viewing this page. But, life has taught me that there’s always at least one person that somehow manages to take offence at everything ever said in the history of everything.
If at this point you still feel offended by this, then before you angrily complain please look up the definition of SATIRICAL first.
Maybe read a few books. Plays or the theatre may help too.
PS If you still think you’re right, and intend to prove you are right by getting your friend to agree with you, then don’t.